这是我写给拜仁的一封信 大家给点评价

Dear sir,                                                      2004.1.31
Guten Tag!I’am a crazy bayern fan who come from the long history country—China.My name is Hu Pan.I am 15 years old,and study in a middle school.So my English isn’t very good. This is my first letter to you.If there is something unfit,please forgive me for my first and foolish.My biggest hoddy is football.My classmates call me"football boy”.And my favourite team is Bayern! In all your stars, I like Pizarro best,he is the best player as far as I know.His nice pass ,shoot,skill often lead you to win each match.,I crary for all that.
  In my letter,I don't want to say how much I;am loving bayern.It’s nonsensical.I only want to say: "Bayern had changed my mind to football and it make me understand the real spirits of football.”In my opinion,bayern is the interpretation of determination. No matter the brilliant history, or brilliance deep attract me!I hope that one day I can go to Muenchen to watch bayern’s every match.Then go to Marienplatz,with all bayern’ real fans enjoy bayren’victories.
  I think these days the biggest conest of bayern is the match to Real Madrid.However,I get some information from newspaperIt said The probability of bayern wining against.Real Madrid is 10% in Backenbauer’speech.I don’t agree with this opinion.
  In my opinion, both Bayern and Real Madrid have the best players in the world.But our(at here ,please let me use"we,our”.Because I think I’m the member of bayern.) Our battle array is more balanced. Do not need me to speak more as for the concrete content.However,to Real Madrid,it made a fouams football stars in its own team every year.Thisnot only cost so much money,but also made some chaotic in main players.For one thing,beckham’join would cause these results:Becknam and and Figo,who will be the best players for right half back?Hierro and makelele who were the two protective for the team had left for somehow,and how to deal with the positions ofHelguera,guti,Bravo,Cambiasso and so on.At the surface,the positon of Salgado and Carlos as half back in Real Madrid is quite firm,in Queiroz’bold test. But in fact,the two are playing the synthesical of wing back and Central Defensive Midfielder.Helguerais playing the part of Central Defensive Midfielder these days.Brarvo who first was as a wing back change his part as a center wing back..Beckham can only play as Central Defensive Midfielder for as a main player.Figo has always been played as left middlefield.Zidane is center strikersurface,but he is used to playing at left middlefield.Raul has been secondary role after Ronaldo 4231 battel array.The main players are in this siluation,what about the bench player.In fact, in the main players only Casillas and Paron’position are firm.And Carlos,Salgado are both attacktion better than guard.
.        ALL ABOVE CAUSES BAYERN’S VICTORY AND PROMOTION!
  
  In China,there are many,many fans who are crazy for bayern like me.Homever,because we do not understand German.So we can not enjoy ourselves in bayern’ Official site.I wonder when bayern will build Chinese Official site.       
     At last,I wash bayern Fight more and more brave         in the new year!       
                                                                  
                                                             Yours,Hu Pan.

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我帮你改一下

好

hobby哈！,八是hoddy！

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-2-2 2:39:43编辑过]

祝你好运！

最后一点十分好！！！！
为虾米只有小日本的

什么BOddy?

<img src=\"images/post/smile/dvbbs/em02.gif\" /><img src=\"images/post/smile/dvbbs/em02.gif\" />小DD还是别用那么多从句比较好,等你多学一点后再用从句和长句还不迟~现在最重要的是要把想说的话表达清楚

Dear sir,                                                      2004.1.31
Guten Tag!I am a crazy Bayern fan who comes from the country which has a long history—China.My name is Hu Pan.I am 15 years old, and I study in a middle school.So my English isn’t very good. This is my first letter to you.If there is anything unfit,please forgive me.My biggest hobby is football.My classmates call me\"football boy”.And my favourite team is Bayern! Among all of your stars, I like Pizarro the best,he is the best player as far as I\'ve known.His nice passes ,shooting skill often lead you to the victory of each match.,I go crazy for all of those.
  In my letter,I don\'t want to say how much I am loving bayern.It’s nonsensical.I only want to say: \"Bayern had changed my mind to football and it made me understand the real spirits of football.”In my opinion,Bayern is the interpretation of determination, no matter in its brilliant history, or the brilliance which keep attracting me!I hope that one day I can go to Muenchen to watch bayern’s every match, and then go to Marienplatz,enjoy bayern’s victories with all bayern\'s real fans.
  I think at present the biggest contest of bayern is the match against Real Madrid.However,I get some information from newspaper. It says The probability of Bayern defeating Real Madrid is 10% in Backenbauer’s mind.I don’t agree with this opinion.
  In my opinion, both Bayern and Real Madrid have the best players in the world.But our(at here ,please let me use\"we,our”.Because I think I’m the member of Bayern.) Our battle array is more balanced. Do not ask me to speak more as for the concrete content.However,to Real Madrid,it makes a famous football star in its own team every year.It doesn\'t only cost so much money,but also made some chaotic in main players.For one thing,beckham’s joining would cause these results:Beckham and and Figo,who will be the best players for right half back? Hierro and Makelele who were the two protective for the team had left for this somehow. And how to deal with the positions of Helguera,Guti,Bravo,Cambiasso and so on? At the surface,the positon of Salgado and Carlos as half back in Real Madrid is quite firm,in Queiroz’s bold test. But in fact,the two are playing the synthesical of wing back and Central Defensive Midfielder.Helguera is playing as the part of Central Defensive Midfielder these days.Brarvo who first was as a wing back had changed his part to a center wing back. Beckham can only play as Central Defensive Midfielder for his slot.Figo has always been playing as left middlefielder.Zidane is center striker at surface,but he used to play at left middlefield.Raul has been secondary roled after Ronaldo in the 4231 battlel array.The main players are in this formation,what about the bench players? In fact, among the first line-up players, there\'re only Casillas\'s and Paron’s position are firm. Carlos and Salgado are both better at attacking than defending.
. ALL ABOVE CAUSES BAYERN’S VICTORY AND PROMOTION!
  
  In China,there are many,many fans who are crazy for Bayern like me.Homever, we do not understand German, so we can not enjoy ourselves in Bayern’s Official site.I wonder when will Bayern build a Chinese Official site.
   At last,I wish bayern can fight more and more bravely in the new year!
                                                                  
Yours Sincerely, Hu Pan.




粗略的改了一下

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-2-1 19:19:34编辑过]

谢谢啊

以下是引用allah在2004-2-1 19:13:00的发言：
谢谢啊

<img src=\"images/post/smile/dvbbs/em02.gif\" />其实语法错了不少,要是你想\"专业\"一点,我晚些帮你改改~不过老实说,不要指望对方会看你的信,我不太相信有人会慢慢读我们球迷的信的~

恩，去的信太多了，来不及读的说。。。

又改了一下，注意

把字写大一点，用长度感动收信官

好感动啊

祝福你好运了哦……
把信纸也做漂亮一点……官员一定会喜欢的……呵呵<img src=\"images/post/smile/dvbbs/em07.gif\" />

Good luck!!

以下是引用allah在2004-2-1 19:05:00的发言：
什么BOddy?

呵呵……错了……是H

the long history country 写成 a country of a long history比较好吧

说句实话，嘿嘿，看不懂，不过挺专业的