发信人: dyce (囧囧星人), 信区: Chelsea<br/>标 题: [评论]帅满为患<br/>发信站: 水木社区 (Sun Oct 14 17:33:31 2007), 站内<br/><br/>Many Managers<br/>帅满为患<br/>Cendrowski<br/><br/>翻译：末日重现<br/>版权：转载请注明切尔西中文网<br/>来源：<a href=\"http://www.chelsea.vitalfootball.co.uk/article.asp?a=501352\" target=\"_blank\">http://www.chelsea.vitalfootball.co.uk/article.asp?a=501352</a><br/><br/>===============================================================================<br/>好吧，这篇写得很毒舌，偏好利物浦的网友就不要看了<br/>其实作为Liverpool Hater的我也觉得写得有点过分......不过总体还是挺苦中作乐的=_=<br/>===============================================================================<br/><br/>With the imminent arrival of Henk Ten Cate as assistant head coach at Chelsea, as well as a revised role for Steve Clarke, is the management / coaching setup at Stamford becoming too heavy?<br/>助理教练藤卡特即将到来，史蒂夫.克拉克的重新扶正，切尔西的教练引进是不是太夸张了？<br/><br/>The question deserves to be considered and debated heavily in the tabloids, especially in light of further rumours that Frank Rijkaard and Guus Hiddink are also in the frame. Then there are also issues to be resolved as to the role that Jamie Redknapp and / or Gary McAllister could play in such a set-up, not to mention rumours that (deep breath) Fabio Capello, Jürgen Klinsmann, Juande Ramos, Marco Van Basten, Marcello Lippi and John Gregory are in contention, with roles apparently for former Chelsea legends Graeme Le Saux, Marcel Desailly and Gianfranco Zola.<br/><br/>这个问题肯定会被小报关注并引起各种争论，尤其是涉及到弗兰克.里杰卡尔德和古斯.希丁克的传闻。还有消息说杰米.雷德纳普和/或加里.麦克阿里斯特也在名单之中，更不用提关于（深呼吸）法比奥.卡佩罗，约根.克林斯曼，朱安德.拉莫斯，马科.范.巴斯滕，马赛罗.里皮以及约翰.格里高利的传闻了。还有几个切尔西的传奇人物：格里米.勒.沙科斯，马赛尔.德塞利和吉安福兰克.佐拉。<br/><br/>According to an astonishing plan that is hatching at Stamford Bridge it would appear that EVERY SINGLE ONE of these managers will be hired (and more). The New Look Chelsea management set-up will see each player having his own personal coach, harvested from this list of football dignitaries; the role of Avram Grant, Henk Ten Cate and Steve Clarke will be to co-ordinate between this crowd of managers and coaches; Steve Clarke overseeing the personal coaches of the more defensive players, and Ten Cate having responsibility for the offensive group. It is thought that, to help facilitate the link between the two groups, Claude Makelele, the man who has given his name to a position on the field, will move into management over the next few months.<br/><br/>鉴于斯坦福桥正在进行的大手笔，很有可能“每一个人”都会被聘用。从这份足坛名贵榜中，我们可以看到新的切尔西教练班底将保证每个球员都有自己的私人教练；在这群经理及教练中，阿夫拉姆.格兰特，亨克.腾卡特和史蒂夫.克拉克起到协调作用；史蒂夫.克拉克管理防守为主球员的私人教练们，腾卡特负责进攻组。我的想法是，帮助这两个小组更好合作的，将是克劳德.马克莱莱，这位中场球员的典范，将在几个月后加入教练群。<br/><br/>Details of the scheme are scarce, we are putting together rumour, speculation and conjecture. However, it would appear that Fabio Capello is the elected coach of John Terry, who will teach the England coach to be even more uncompromising, and the art of stingy catenaccio, not to mention gesticulating wildly from the sidelines to nobody in particular as an acceptable alternative to getting into the ref`s face. Furthermore, Capello, who famously has a sponsorship with a famous maker of spectacles, wants to extend that contract to John`s facemask.<br/><br/>细节方面十分不足，所以我们要综合所有的谣言,猜测及各种臆想来分析。<br/>法比奥.卡佩罗将是约翰.特里的理想教练，他也将教会英格兰的教练如何更加地强硬，沉闷433阵型的艺术，而站在场边夸张地做各种手势，没有明确的对象，只是为了吸引裁判注意的习惯，就更不用说了。除此之外，卡佩罗氏一家很有名的眼镜公司的赞助人，他可以把它的业务拓展到特里的面罩上。<br/><br/>Initially Marcel Desailly will work with Alex and Tal Ben Haim (before a second centreback coach can be brought in); it is felt that Alex, in particular, displays too much joy on his face. Marcel has been hired to perfect the Alex`s central defender scowl.<br/><br/>刚开始马赛尔.德塞利会指导阿历克斯和塔尔.本哈伊姆（直到第二名中后卫教练到来）；而似乎阿历克斯，尤其是他，脸上的表情太丰富了。马赛尔的任务就是让阿历克斯像其他中后卫那样面无表情。<br/><br/>Needless to say, Wayne Bridge and Ashley Cole are to be coached by the left-back`s left-back Graeme Le Saux, who will also bring to their roles on the pitch some mentoring in reading and writing for The Guardian after the dog`s dinner that was Ashley Cole`s biography. As for Gianfranco Zola, he will be tasked with injecting some fantasy and joie de vivre to Andriy Shevchenko`s play. Sheva, however, is said to have drawn a line in the sand to dressing like Gianfranco. \'I`m sticking with my Armani sponsorship, and nobody is going to tell me to wear my hear like Zola`, Sheva hardballed.<br/><br/>不用说，韦恩.布里奇和阿什利.科尔将会师从左边卫之王吉里米.勒.沙科斯。他还将教会他们阅读，并且写一本阿什利科尔的自传《饱餐的后卫们》。至于吉安福兰克.佐拉，他的任务是为安德烈舍普琴科的表演增加娱乐性。然而舍瓦，却要与左拉的穿着划清界限。“我和我的赞助商阿玛尼关系很好，所以我不想听到类似要穿的像佐拉这样的话”，舍瓦申明道。<br/><br/>Salomon Kalou is to benefit from Jürgen Klinsmann`s personal coaching to help the Ivory Coast youngster become colder in front of the goal. He will also be tasked with making Kalou`s diving far more convincing, and off the pitch to look fetching in a combination of a plain white shirt and black trousers.<br/><br/>萨鲁门.卡卢将会从他的私人教练约根.克林斯曼的教导中受益，他将学会如何在门前更冷静。他还将教会卡卢如何让假摔看起来更真，在场下，他也将穿起白衫黑裤，显得迷人的多。<br/><br/>Marcello Lippo is to be given responsibility for Michael Essien. Our source at Stamford Bridge, who asked not to be named, explained this unconventional choice: \"Marcello has never been a slave to positional orthodoxy, refusing to be bound by a rigid tactical approach. Given the number of different roles that Essien has had to assume at Chelsea, we feel he would benefit from someone who is so flexible\".<br/><br/>马赛罗.里皮负责迈克尔.艾辛。我们在斯坦福桥的消息来源――此人不愿公开身份――解释了这个非传统选择：“马赛罗从来不是正统体制的奴隶，他拒绝循规蹈矩。艾辛在切尔西要打多个位置，我们觉得师从一位思想复杂的人将会让他收益颇丰。”<br/><br/>Frank Rijkaard will be asked to channel Joe Cole`s energy and undoubted potential as an attacking midfielder with a dose of fantasy. He will, however, be asked to improve Joe Cole`s shooting accuracy rather than his spitting, which is hitherto undeveloped (and Chelsea would like to keep it this way). It is considered that Joe Cole has the potential to become England (and Chelsea`s) Ronaldinho, although it is not clear if, to achieve this, Joe Cole will be asked to go out with Rijkaard`s daughter.<br/><br/>弗兰克.里杰卡尔德会引导乔科尔的能量及毫无疑问的潜能，使他成为梦幻般的攻击中场。他还会更注重小乔的射门精确度，而不是他的分球，这一点小乔一直做不好（切尔西会坚持这一点的）。乔科尔很有潜能成为英格兰的（以及切尔西的）罗纳尔迪尼奥，尽管这一点现在尚不明确，不过为了能达到这一成就，乔科尔必须与里杰卡尔德的女儿约会。<br/><br/>The suggestion that Frank Lampard should team up with his (only slightly older) cousin Jamie Redknapp, however, has not gone down well. Apparently Jamie and Frank always used to fight at the Lampard / Redknapp family Christmases as to which side of the family were the bigger West Ham legends. Redknapp has been targeted to help improve Chelsea`s public image, based on his vast experience as a Sky Sports commentator. But this decision has rankled Lampard: \"I don`t need my pants-breath cousin to help me to reduce my entire vocabulary of descriptive adjectives to the one word, \'amazing`, and neither does anyone need to tell me how to mis-use the term \'literally`\", he muttered.<br/><br/>还有建议说弗兰克.兰帕德应该和他的表兄吉米.雷德纳普绑在一起，不过这个组合不会很好。很明显吉米和弗兰克经常会在兰帕德/雷德纳普家的圣诞聚会上吵架，争论谁才是西汉姆联最大的传奇。鉴于他曾经是天空体育的评论员，雷德纳普的目标还包括改善切尔西的公众形象。但是这激怒了兰帕德：“我不需要和我穿一条裤子长大的表兄来限制我的词汇，把我的形容词缩减到只剩一个――棒，也不用别人告诉我怎样滥用‘字面意思’一词 ”，他嘀咕道。<br/><br/>And so on; the precise roles of the likes of Guus Hiddink, Juande Ramos and Marco Van Basten are yet to be decided. \"However, they are clearly big-name coaches, best to sign them first, and then assign them to a player once they are on our books\" said our anonymous source. \"Besides, it`s accepted Chelsea policy to sign people to ensure that nobody else gets their hands on them\".<br/><br/>继续，珍贵的古斯.希丁克，朱安德.拉莫斯和马科.范.巴斯滕的位置还没考虑到呢。“他们无疑都是大牌教练，最好先把他们签下来，再分配他们的工作。”我们匿名的眼线这样说。“除此之外，切尔西的政策就是先下手为强，防止别人签下他们。”<br/><br/>With such a mass influx of talent, some of the managers who are not being linked with Chelsea are said to be rather worried, if not insulted. Whilst Arsène Wenger and Alex Ferguson made it very clear that nothing in the world could prise them away from their respective clubs, Tubby Benítez at Liverpool is said to wonder what he has done wrong not to be offered any kind of role at the new-look, top heavy Chelsea, particularly as José Mourinho has now left. Tubby never tried to hide that José irritated him intensely, possibly because everybody decided that there was room only for one Iberian tactical genius in the Premiership, and most people plumped for the more charismatic and handsome one. <br/><br/>这么多的天才涌入，我没有恶意，那些没有被切尔西看中的教练们开始不安起来。阿瑟纳.温格和阿历克斯.弗格森明确表示，他们不会因为钱而抛弃各自的俱乐部，而在利物浦的特比.贝尼特斯却很奇怪究竟自己那里不好，使得新的重型切尔西没有提供他一个职位，特别是在何塞.穆里尼奥离开之后。特比从没掩饰他对何塞的极度恼怒，可能是因为所有人都觉得在英超联赛中只能有一个伊比利亚战术天才，而大多数人会选更具魅力，更帅的那一个。<br/><br/>But with José having fallen foul of Roman once too often and now out of Stamford Bridge, Tubby is distressed at not having received a call from Peter Kenyon particularly as the Liverpool faithful are becoming increasingly disillusioned with Tubby at Anfield. Our secret source, however, revealed that \"Roman can`t take that stupid jazz facial foliage seriously. Besides he`s hardly set the Premiership alight.\"<br/><br/>但是何塞与阿布闹翻过很多次，现在也已经走人了，现在利物浦的球迷们越来越意识到他的重要性，而肯杨却始终没有打过电话给他，这一点让特比很伤心。不过，我们的秘密眼线揭开了谜底：“阿布受不了他愚蠢的面部表情和爵士风格的打扮。除此之外，他很难让英超精彩起来。”<br/><br/>\"There could be a role for Tubby as Michael Ballack`s assistant coach. Ballack`s first coach will be Gary McAllister, who needs to help Ballack not only become an English all-terrain midfielder but also improve Ballack`s standing with the public\".<br/><br/>“可能会有个位置留给特比――迈克尔.巴拉克的助理教练。巴拉克的首席教练将是加里.迈克阿里斯特，迈克不仅将帮助巴拉克成为英式全能中场，还将提高巴拉克的公众地位。”<br/><br/>\"Tubby could be tasked with a special mission to spur Ballack to run around looking busy like Ickle Stevie, but that`s about it.\"<br/><br/>“而特比会有一个特殊任务，就是教会巴拉克如何像杰拉德那样到飞奔，装出很忙的样子。仅此而已。”<br/> |
楼主
ublished: 08 Oct 2007<br/>Translator: stranck@PTT<br/><br/>SHAUN WRIGHT-PHILLIPS is indulging his favourite hobby with his massive wages at Chelsea — PORN.<br/><br/>小赖特正用他的一些薪水，投入到他最喜欢的兴趣里── A 片。<br/><br/><br/>The little fella of Stamford Bridge has chipped ￡20,000 into bongo channel Babe Central and is helping out with the wage bill for the “talent”.<br/><br/>这位小个子丢了两万镑到色情频道 Babe Central，帮他们解决了发薪水的问题。<br/><br/><br/>Wee Shaun’s Abramovich-style cash clout means the other channels are struggling to book the best girls because SWP can afford to pay more.<br/><br/>"小" 赖特的阿布式金元攻势，意味著其他的色情频道，必需事先抢破头去预约好那些最赞的女生 ...<br/><br/>因为，小赖特可以给她们付更多的钱 ...<br/><br/><br/>A bit like Chelsea in a Premier League of porn.<br/><br/>有点像在 A 片超级联赛里杀出的切尔西一样。<br/><br/>Shaun likes nowt more than taking his seat in the grandstand to watch his investment in action in a studio in Kent.<br/><br/>对小赖特而言，他最喜欢的事情，莫过于坐在 Kent 的摄影棚里，看著他的投资 正逐步成长。<br/><br/>And it has caused an almighty stir among other after-the-missus-has-gone-to-bed channels. A seedy insider said: “Shaun’s money has forced up the wages for the girls and Babe Central’s rivals are far from happy. It’s exactly like Chelsea in the transfer market.<br/><br/>而小赖特的出现，在各家 A 片频道当中，引起了一波轰动。根据一位当事人说，<br/><br/>"小赖特的钱，拉高了女生的薪水，也使得 Bebe Central 的竞争者们很不爽。 这正像是转会市场里的切尔西。"<br/><br/>“He’s been dropping in at Babe Central with his pals and ogling the girls.<br/><br/>"他近来不时跟他的朋友来访 Bebe Central，还对那些女生们抛媚眼。”<br/><br/><br/>"The flats above have been complaining about Wright-Phillips and his chums making so much noise while they’ve been watching the babes.<br/><br/>"楼上的单位最近都在抱怨小赖特跟他的夥伴们。 因为他们在看那些漂亮宝贝时，都发出了很多的噪音。<br/><br/><br/>“The girls are writhing around in front of the cameras, talking to viewers, while Wright-Phillips and his pals drink champagne.”<br/><br/>"当那些女孩在镜头前搔首弄姿、喃喃自语时， 小赖特跟他的朋友们则在喝著香槟。"<br/><br/><br/>Sounds familiar. Like watching Chelsea at Stamford Bridge — Drogba writhing around while a bunch of wealthy blokes leer and quaff bubbly.<br/><br/>这听起来不是似曾相识吗？就像是看著切尔西在史丹福桥 ...<br/><br/>德洛巴舞动著身体，而上面的一群有钱人们，正在咧嘴奸笑，大啖香槟 ...</div>